Assalam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah,

Insha Allah, I hope and plan to start producing short (say like 4 minutes long) biweekly (every 2 weeks) YouTube videos that deal with topics related to us in the Muslim community.  If you are interested, please subscribe at www.youtube.com/coolguymuslim Here’s the first episode that I produced this week:

Here are also other CoolGuyMuslim videos that were made in the past, please check em out iA:

The Bad Things that Happen in Life

The Fiqh of Priorities

Muslim vs. Mumin vs. Muhsin

Which Hand will YOU Receive Your Book In?

JazakAllahkhair for your time and attention!
-Bilal

In Surah Al-Ahzab, Allah addresses the wives of Prophet Muhammad [صَلى اللهُ عَليهِ وَ سَلم] with specific commands to guard their chastity:

“And abide quietly in your homes, and do not flaunt your charms as they used to flaunt them in the old days of pagan ignorance; and be constant in prayer, and render the purifying dues, and pay heed unto Allah and His Messenger: for Allah only wants to remove from you all that might be loathsome, O you members of the [Prophet’s] household, and to purify you to utmost purity.” [33:33]

The word قَرْنَ stems from the root letters وق ر or, according to other scholars, the root letters ق ر ر, both implying more or less the same implicit meaning. According to Lane’s online Arabic-to-English lexicon, the root of the word قَرْنَ means –> to settle; be firm, steady, fixed, settled or established; be motionless, quiet, still, standing, stationary; to rest, remain, continue or reside in a place. Synonyms are ثَبَتَ and سَكَنَ which, when used for a man, also imply to reside or rest somewhere ’with authority or power’.

According to Tafsir ibn Kathir, ”And stay in your houses” means “stay in your houses and do not come out except for a purpose. One of the purposes mentioned in Shari`ah is prayer in the Masjid, so long as the conditions are fulfilled, as the Messenger of Allah [صَلى اللهُ عَليهِ وَ سَلم] said:

- “Do not prevent the female servants of Allah from the masjids of Allah, but have them go out without wearing fragrance“.  According to another report:

“…even though their houses are better for them” [Abu Dawood: 567]” [End quote tafsir.com]

Tafsir Maududi expounds, “The word قَرْنَ in the original is derived from قرار according to some lexicographers and from وقار according to others. In the first sense, it will mean: “Settle down, stick firmly;” and in the second sense: “Live peacefully, sit with dignity”. In both the cases the verse means to impress that the woman’s real sphere of activity is her home; she should carry out her functions within that sphere peacefully, and she should come out of the house only in case of a genuine need.

This explanation makes it abundantly clear that what Allah forbids for women is to move out of their houses showing off their physical charms and beauty. He instructs them to stay in their houses because their real sphere of activity is their home and not the world outside. However, if they have to move out of the house for an outdoor duty, they should not move out as the women used to do in the pre-Islamic days of ignorance. For it does not behoove the women of a Muslim society to walk out fully embellished; to make their face and figure conspicuous by adornments and tight-fitting or transparent dresses, and to walk coquettishly.”

[End quote Maududi tafsir]

We need to keep in mind the context of the revelation of these verses of the Quran. The wives of the Prophet [صَلى اللهُ عَليهِ وَ سَلم] were being specifically addressed. Just before this verse, they were commanded not to soften their speech when conversing with non-mahrum men due to necessity. After being told to stay in their homes, they were commanded not to do تَبَرُّج (wanton display of charms and beauty).

Muslim women emulate the wives of the Prophet [صَلى اللهُ عَليهِ وَ سَلم], considering them role models. Any Quranic command addressed towards the latter, particularly one that aims to establish lofty moral character and conduct, automatically becomes a praiseworthy goal for the average Muslim woman, for all time to come. Therefore, the necessary traits of moral behavior of exemplary Muslim women, whom other women of the ummah would always look up to, viz. the Prophet’s wives, are being outlined here.

The question arises as to why the wives of the Prophet [صَلى اللهُ عَليهِ وَ سَلم], as the epitomes for all Muslim women, were commanded to mostly stay in their homes? Also, what falls under “genuine need” that allows a woman to emerge from her home in full hijab?

The purpose of this command is not the confinement of women to their homes out of a disdain for their intelligence or productivity as individuals. Neither does Islam consider a woman solely responsible for the moral vices that emerge in a society. If that were the case, men would not have been commanded to lower their gaze and guard their chastity [Reference: Quran, 24:30].

As the word meaning of قَرْنَ implies, a Muslim woman should keep her home as the focus of her attention and activities, and make it the base of her affairs. A cursory glance at women all over the world shows that, no matter how hard they work outside the home (whether in plantation fields, picking up the children from school, or for other pursuits), eventually they always return home. When they do, they have to run its affairs too, such as the sometimes mundane tasks of cooking and cleaning. Even if they choose to delegate these internal home affairs to employees or paid helpers, the task of supervision, planning and follow-up still remains their primary responsibility. Whether it is a rural lass in the valley of Chitral or a housewife in suburban California, matters such as what the family will eat for the day and when the clothes will be washed, are up to the women of the house to decide and execute.

Here are a list of necessities that allow Muslim women to leave their homes:

1. To perform salah in the masjid, especially the Jum’uah and Eid salah.
2. To perform hajj and umrah.
3. Pursuit of education/knowledge.
4. To visit sick relatives, or to respond to social calls and dinner/wedding invitations; to visit neighbors, extended family, and other people for the sake of joining relations; commiserating after a death and attending a funeral, or matchmaking/negotiating marriage proposals between families.
5. To visit the doctor or the hospital when sick and needing medical treatment, or to give birth.
6. To work at a job, if there is no mahrum man providing for them (out of chance or choice). For the conditions that allow a Muslim woman to work, please see: Guidelines on Women Working Outside the Home (IslamQA.com).
7. To teach or cater to other women and children viz. work as professors, primary school teachers, Montessori teachers, daycare providers, or institution administrators/program coordinators.
8. To work to provide medical services and other care to women and children viz. to work as  doctors, nurses, dentists, surgeons, physiotherapists, lactation consultants, counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, and necessarily, as obstetrician-gynecologists and midwives.
9. To work as domestic helpers/maids, nannies, cooks, personal assistants/secretaries, and as attendants to elderly or invalid women. We all know how often Muslim women need other women to help them in their day-to-day affairs. For example, a doctor’s office or ladies’ gym might need a receptionist or office assistant; a Professor at a University might need a teaching assistant; and so on.
10. To work for security. At airports, visa-issuing embassies, and other checkpoints, women need to be present to check other women for security reasons. This is extremely necessary in order to prevent Muslim women from being checked by male security personnel.
11. To work as technicians, trainers, fashion designers or beauticians. Again, the restrictions ordained by Islam need to be observed whilst pursuing this line of work, but it is a fact that women love to beautify themselves and they need/pay other expert women to help them out, for example, to achieve just the right shade of lowlights in their hair, or to have henna applied for a wedding. The beauty industry can actually be a very fruitful profession, especially for young artistically inclined girls, as it allows them to offer services for a fee to women clients even within private homes.
12. For passports and national identity documents, women need to be photographed and those who choose to cover their faces, should have the option to uncover their faces only before a female photographer. Unfortunately, because women do not usually enter these fields as professionals, veiled women have to have their pictures taken by men instead.
13. Similarly, in laboratories, trained female technicians should be present to serve female clients, e.g. to draw blood from their veins for blood tests,or take their blood pressure and other vital statistics.
    Although our scholars are quick to point out very quickly and all-encompassingly that “Muslim women have been commanded to stay in their homes!”, they do not point out those fields or professions, where some women should work, as a fard kifayah, in order to serve the other women of the ummah, especially to prevent them from going for the same services to men. For example, I know many women who were not exactly pleased to find out, after having chosen to take an epidural for childbirth, that a man will come in to administer it to them, right above their backside (which meant uncovering their lower back to him, and that too while in labor!). In Pakistan, at least, no women are trained to administer the epidural shot.

It becomes clear, then, that far from being confined to their homes twiddling their thumbs, Muslim women will need to emerge very often in order to fulfill the obligations of Islam - such as seeking and imparting knowledge - and to perform social and moral duties in their society. It is for this purpose that hijab has been ordained and they have been warned in the same verse not to do tabarruj as in the days of the first ignorance/jahiliyyah (implying that the same jahiliyyah would re-emerge in the future, which has unfortunately happened).

No matter what their religion, culture or ethnicity, women today who choose to pursue full-time, demanding careers almost always face a crossroads in their professional lives when they hear their biological clock ticking loudly during their thirties, especially if they have consciously chosen career over marriage and motherhood. Even after having babies, those women who choose to work, admit to living with a constant guilt; a nagging feeling of having let down their family, or not being there for their children when they need them (which is several times a day). And even those women who have achieved accolades and won awards for their accomplishments in their professional lives, admit to feeling a sense of desolation when, at the end of the day, they come home to a lavish but empty apartment/villa and have dinner alone.

In contrast, those women who keep their home their priority, or shall we say, their “primary occupation”, but continue to dabble in their professions and hobbies on a part-time or freelance basis – viz. at a level that doesn’t obstruct fulfillment of their responsibilities at home - lead a more satisfied life, entering into a win-win bargain. Their homes and families are taken care of, fulfilling their maternal and nurturing instincts, whereas their mental and intellectual faculties also remain stimulated because their spare time is used constructively for the benefit of others in society.

Malta: Muslims and Catholics unite against ‘negative’ media and same-sex marriage

Archbishop Paul Cremona this morning called for the State to help couples prepare for marriage due to an increase in couples deciding against faith marriages.

Speaking at the opening session of a seminar intended to discuss the role of the family from a Muslim and Christian perspective, organised by the World Islamic Call Society, he also said that the media needed to be used to promote messages in favour of marriage stability.

This article was prepared by the Islam in Europe blog – islamineurope.blogspot.com

He said moral support should be offered to people who are trying to overcome difficult moments in their marriage, not only those who want to separate.

(…)

Meanwhile, Ammar Hreba, head of the Islamic Centres and Propagation Bureau, said that even according to the Muslim tradition, marriages were based on the male and the female.

“If we let the family collapse, thanks to the negative directions of the media, this will lead to catastrophes and destruction. Same-sex marriages, for instance, destroy the entity of how family began with Adam and Eve.”

He said negativity in the media leads to violence, but the Divine Call enables human beings to maintain the human race.

He called for the cooperation of the Church in Malta so that in a spirit of dialogue they could safeguard the family, by cooperating also with the government.

(more)

Source: Times of Malta

by Maryam Amir-Ebrahimi

Before I got married, I was given unsolicited advice on how to change in order to make myself “more appealing” to brothers. Sisters would voluntarily tell me I should be more outgoing when with men, dress more attractively to get their attention and stop being as involved with Islamic activism so I would not scare them away.

Since when is our purpose in life marriage? Where in the Qur’an does Allah ask us to change our personalities, dress style and tone down our activism in hopes of getting hitched? Nevertheless, with marriage being such a huge concern in our community, many face the temptation to change their values to find a spouse.

Here’s an idea: Instead of working to please a potential suitor, perhaps we should first seek to please Allah, the One who sows the seed of love in our hearts and can bless us with our dream husband or dream wife.

Instead of looking for marriage at every event, let’s look for marriage in our relationship with al-Wahhab, the Giver of All. Let’s be honest. We are talking about al-Mujeeb, the Responder to Prayer. Those are amongst the Names of Allah! Allah gives and He answers!

If you are an individual who struggles to lower your gaze and protect your eyes, heart, tongue and body from falling into the haram, don’t you know that Allah will indeed reward you?

Every time you glance up and see someone you wish you could be with, turn away and in that moment ask Allah to bless you with a spouse who will be the sweetness of your eyes. Would not Allah listen to and accept your supplication to Him? How could Allah possibly not accept the supplication of His adamant worshipper who is painfully struggling to maintain his or her modesty and guard his or her chastity? The Prophet ﷺ has encouraged us to “Ask and you will be given…” (at-Tirmithi) Allah will give you! How could He not when you are striving only for His Sake?

In those moments in the last third of the night, in those two rakahs which you make out of pure frustration of your situation, weeping, asking Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala – exalted is He) to answer you –  do you not think Allah the Rabb al-`alameen (Lord of the Worlds) will not respond to you? Allahu Akbar (God is the Greatest), this is Allah! Without doubt Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) is going to answer you!

The Prophet ﷺ relates from Allah in a hadith Qudsi:

“Our Lord (glorified and exalted be He) descends each night to the earth’s sky when there remains the final third of the night, and He says: ‘Who is saying a prayer to Me that I may answer it? Who is asking something of Me that I may give it him? Who is asking forgiveness of Me that I may forgive him?’” (Bukhari)

What is hooking up with a brother or sister on gchat or facebook worth in comparison to hooking up with the One who can hook you up?

As Shaykh Muhammad Faqih once said, “Hook up with Allah, Allah will hook you up!”

Let’s hook up with salah! Hook up with the Qur’an! Hook up with community work for Allah’s Sake! And have certainty that when we struggle to please Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala), Ash-Shakoor is the Most Appreciative of our work and will undoubtedly reward us.

Will that reward be in the form of an amazing spouse and an amazing marriage? Allah knows best. But the best part is that Allah knows what is BEST for us and that His bounties are limitless.

The Prophet ﷺ has told us, “Any Muslim who supplicates to Allah in a du`a’ which contains no sin [of] breaking of kinship, Allah will give him one of three things: either hisdu`a’ will be immediately answered, it will be saved for him in the hereafter, or it will turn away an equivalent amount of evil (from him)…” (Ahmad).

Thus, we must know that if we connect with Allah, we can trust that Allah will grant us whatever is best, whether it be an answer to exactly what we are asking for or something better. Allah has got our backs! Who better to trust our future with than the One who already knows it?

Easier said than done? Maybe. But what have you got to lose? If at the end of the day you are only increasing in closeness to Allah, increasing in reading the Qur’an, tasting the sweetness of your salah, and making more sincere du`a’ then insha’Allah (if Allah wills) you will have gained more than simply “a spouse” if you get married and you would have gained much more than facebook “cruising for a spouse” time while you’re attempting to find your better half…Insha’Allah you will gain more in this life and the next, and an unwavering relationship with Allah!

Here are some short, quick and amazing ways we can increase our relationship with Allah through good deeds massively rewarded inshaAllah:

–> Get what you really want: “Allah will grant whoever recites this seven times in the morning or evening whatever he desires from this world or the next” (Ibn As Sunni, Abu Dawood – both reports are directly linked to the Prophet ﷺ):

HasbiaAllahu la ilaha ila huwa `alayhi tawakaltu wa huwa Rabbu’l`arshi’l`atheem.

“Allah is Sufficient for me, none has the right to be worshipped except Him, upon Him I rely and He is Lord of the exalted throne.”

To be recited seven times in the morning (after Fajr) and seven times in the evening (between `Asr and Maghrib).

–> Say “Subhan’Allah” (glory be to Allah) 100 times. For a person who does this, “a thousand good deeds are recorded for him and a thousand bad deeds are wiped away.” [Muslim]

–> Ask Allah to forgive your brothers and sisters: “Whoever seeks forgiveness for believing men and believing woman, Allah will write for him a good deed for each believing man and believing woman.” [at-Tabarani, classed as hasan by al-Albani]

–> Work to protect yourself from the Hellfire: “Allah will spare whoever says this four times in the morning or evening from the fire of Hell” (Abu Dawood, was also reported in Bukhari).

Allahumma inni asbahtu ush-hiduka, wa ushidu hamalata `arshika, wa mala’ikataka, wa jamee`a khalqik, annaka Ant Allah, la ilaha illa Ant, wahdaka la shareeka lak, wa anna Muhammadan `abduka wa rasuluka (when saying this in the evening, say “Allahuma inniamsaytu” instead of “asbahtu.”

“O Allah, verily I have reached the morning and call on You, the bearers of Your throne, Your angels, and all of Your creation to witness that You are Allah, none has the right to be worshipped except You, alone, without partner and that Muhammad is Your Servant and Messenger.”

To be recited four times in the morning (after Fajr) and evening (between `Asr and Maghrib).

The Lord of the Worlds speaks to us and tells us, “And when My slaves ask you concerning Me, then I am indeed near. I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me. So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright” (Quran, 2:186).

You are coming to Allah with rajaa (hope), with a powerful combination of seeking Allah’s pleasure, striving to leave anything which may gain His displeasure and making a consistent effort to ask Him to open the best of ways for you and then putting your trust in Him that He will give you whatever is best. Of course Allah is going to answer you.

As was once stated, “A person has never held certainty in Allah only for Allah to disappoint him/her.’ Never will Allah disappoint those with yaqeen (certainty), tawakkul(reliance) and husn al-dhann (good opinion) of Him.” Hook up with Allah and know that without a doubt, Allah ‘azza wa Jall will hook you up in the best of ways.

Source: www.suhaibwebb.com

Copenhagen: Mosque open house

Dialog between Danes and Muslims, that’s the goal of the Islamic Faith Society when they invite people to an open house in their mosque in Copenhagen next week, says spokesperson Bettina Meisner.

This article was prepared by the Islam in Europe blog – islamineurope.blogspot.com

“We have no requirement for people to become Muslim after participating in our event. We want to have a dialog with Danish society about what is Islam and show that it’s not a closed religion which oppresses women,” says Bettina Meisner.

She adds that 500-1000 visitors come when the faith-society organizes open house events.

“Those who come to the open house say that they get insight into the world of Muslim and disprove some prejudices. For example, many discover that the position of women in Islam is not oppressive to women, but that women have an important role in the Muslim world,” says Bettina Meisner.

Integration expert and member of the Copenhagen council Manu Sareen thinks that open house events in various faith-societies are important for integration.

“If there’s something we need in Denmark, it’s some platforms where people meet. There is so much separation between Danes and Muslims. We go round and think a lot about each other without really knowing each other. It’s much easier to be negative towards each other when you don’t have contact,” says Manu Sareen.

He thinks that people who participate in the open house event will either have their prejudices confirmed or disproved.

“The vast majority of Danes get their primary information about Muslims through the media, and it’s not a particularly flattering image, what’s shown. Instead the media contributes to creating a very negative discourse, which greatly affects the Danes. So I certainly welcome those open house events. There’s a need for that,” says Manu Sareen.

Source: Kristeligt Dagblad (Danish)

Catalonia: Town to debate veil ban

A Spanish town is to debate calls for a ban on wearing the full-face Islamic veil in public amid growing cross-party opposition to the burqa in the country, a local party said Tuesday.

The moderate Catalan nationalists of the Convergence and Union (CiU) party proposed the ban, calling the veil “an obstacle to the dignity and integration of women in our society,” they said in a statement.

The presence in the town Lerida “of Salafist representatives (hardline Islamists) has facilitated the spread of practices incompatible with the values of sexual equality and respect for women.”

El Pais daily said the town’s socialist mayor Angel Ros has also expressed his opposition to the Islamic veil in the past.

Spain’s Labour and Immigration Minister Celestino Corbacho said Monday he was in favour of a ban on the full veil in work spaces.

“Totally covering women with a piece of clothing, whatever the symbolism, completely goes against our society and stops the move towards equality between men and women,” he said.

The council debate in Lerida, a town of some 140,000 inhabitants in north east Catalonia, will take place on May 28.

(more)

This article was prepared by the Islam in Europe blog – islamineurope.blogspot.com

Source: Expatica

Came across an interesting article about the Ash that is coming from the Iceland Volcano that has halted business in Europe.  If you get a chance, have a read at Voice Pakistan.

Related: Signs of the Day of Judgment

Bern: Gym hall for Muslim women

The Swiss Islamic Central Council is making headlines recently. See also Switzerland: Young converts could pose national security threat

———-

By the end of April, Muslims who wish to do so, could exercise in a closed gym in a Bern suburb. A very recent and controversial service by the Swiss Islamic Central Council.

Before the birth of her children, Nora Illi used to go to the gym. Without taking off her niqab, the veil covering her face. Converting to Islam at the age of 19, the 26 year old Swiss abandoned the pool. But, protected by a burkini, a swimsuit covering the entire body, she continued swimming in the lakes. People still look at her with surprise when they see her, she admits with a laugh on the phone. “But I am in a public area, I have a right to bathe.”

For Muslims like her, who want to exercise far from male eyes, the Central Islamic Council (CCIS or IZRS) sought out the Wabern gym, ten minutes by tram from the capital, as revealed by 20 Minuten. Starting April 28th, Wednesday evening, they can practice badminton, volleyball, weight lifting and gymnastics. The first sign-ups came in, and a similar request is under consideration in Aargau. Nora Illi, who’s breastfeeding her 3 month old twins, will wait. But as a woman – the only one in the IZRS – she helped set up this activity.

Qaasim Illi, spokesperson for the IZRS and husband of Nora, says that several women have turned to them for help in finding a gym hall. Nora explains: We do not want to risk of exposing ourselves. Here we can remove the veil, be free in our movements. The association inspected several buildings, they needed a hall which was not visible from the outside.

In the late 1990s, Nadia Karmous, head of the Cultural Association of Muslim Women in Switzerland, rented the pool in Hauterive for several hours a week. The contract was broken in 2005 by the municipal council, which estimated that the Sunday cleaning was too complicated. Since then many women turned to them for new activities. In French-speaking Switzerland, there are several who go to the Espace Equilibre, a fitness center in La Chaux-de-Fonds reserved for women. Danielle Neuhaus: “We do have Muslim customers, some of which exercise with a headscarf. The presence of these women is a plus. We have discussions about Ramadan, minarets. I think that the notions of some customers about Islam have changed. This mixture of cultures is enriching.”

The vice-president of the Union of Muslim Organizations in Geneva, Lucia Dahlab, does not necessarily share the conviction of the ultra-orthodox IZRS. But she doesn’t see a problem with this. “If these women feel more comfortable as well, why not?” She understand them also because she herself was thrown out of a Geneva swimming pool where her children were swimming because she was too covered. Nadia Karmous adds: When we proposed special hours at the Neuchâtel pool, Christian women benefited. There are many activities by age and gender. Why not for women who want to exercise without having to put up with uncomfortable stares from certain men?

For Saïda Keller-Messahli, president of the Forum for Progressive Islam, it’s obvious: The Wabern initiative is by a ’small ultra-orthodox minority who refuse to integrate in the society in which they live.” She says that it’s a gesture of segregation, emphasizing the idea of separation of the sexes from childhood. This culture of segregation and the moralization of the female body goes against all freedoms and self-determination of the Muslim woman.

Source: Le Matin (French)

Antwerp: 24 years for wife murderer

Omar Sellami (38) was found guilty by an Antwerp criminal court of killing his wife, Karima Sellami (24). The accused had strangled his wife on November 22, 2007 in their apartment in Merksem (Antwerp). The court sentenced him to 24 years in jail, taking into account the exceptionally brutal way in which he killed his wife, the suffering he had caused Karima and her relatives, and the aggressive, authoritarian and obstinate character Omar showed.

Chairman Dirk Thys said: “You received a harsh punishment, but in our society it’s not tolerated that men treat women in the way you’ve done. If you can’t accept that, you’ll never function in our society.”

Omar confessed last year that he was responsible for his wife’s death. For two years had had sworn “by Allah” that Karima had strangled herself under the influence of the angry spirits that had possessed her.

When he finally confessed, he said that Karima had told him that day that she had slept with another man. Omar says he flew at her, grabbed her by the throat and didn’t let go until she didn’t respond anymore.

Karima married Omar when she was 17, and according to her older sister, Latifa, it was her decision. In the beginning they were happy, but a year and a half later, the marriage had a deep crisis.

Latifa: “Omar caused a lot of damage: The children lost their mother, and I, my sister. He should have looked for a different way out. If it was truly not going, he should have divorced her, because this, she didn’t deserve.”

“Omar beat her with a belt, Karima showed me her blue spots. He didn’t want her to work or to associate with her sisters or friends from school. Omar wanted to be done with her, since she wasn’t his ideal wife. Nevertheless, he knew before their marriage what she wanted in her life.” Latifa says she advised her sister to divorce Omar, but though her sister seemed to want it at times, at others she dared not leave him.

Karima unburdened herself to Khalil. “I got to know Karima at the end of 2006. She was a good friend, but nothing more. She told me she wasn’t happy in her marriage: her husband was older, didn’t work, constantly asked for money and had a different mentality than she did. She didn’t love him any more.”

Karima also told Khalil of a visit by a exorcist, since in her culture [ie: Moroccan] a woman who didn’t love her man was supposed to be possessed by black magic. Khalil didn’t believe in that, but Latifa had noticed something strange with her sister. “Her stomach sometimes moved like a rotating washing machine. According to an imam, she was possessed by three Jewish spirits. Sometimes I believe that she was possessed, but at other times I think that spirits don’t exist.

Karima didn’t get much understanding from her parents. They showed her the door, since she wanted to work outside her home, and her husband was against it. Her father didn’t think it was abnormal that Omar beat his wife. “She was disobedient.”

Abdelkader, Karima’s father, gave his eight children a traditional Moroccan upbringing. He taught them a wife must show respect for her husband, that she must obey him and that he may beat her if she doesn’t. According to her father, Karima brought her marriage problems on herself by not respecting Omar and deserved to be beaten.

Rahma, Karima’s mother, didn’t agree with her husband. “A man may not beat his wife. I’ve told Omar that if the problems continue, he must divorce.” But she also turned her daughter away. “I agreed with Omar, since I was afraid that he would beat Karima otherwise.”

Abdelkader says that due to Omar’s beatings, Karima had become afraid and had to go to a faith healer, but there was no issue of spirits. Rahma first supporter her husband, but later said that Karima had three spirits.

Abdelkader and Rahma remember their daughter as a cheerful girl. Rahma had trouble with the way Omar killed her: “He strangled her like a chicken. It wasn’t a quick death, Karima had a tough time of it. He didn’t only kill her, but also me. It pains me that had lied for so long.”

Karima and Omar’s children are now being brought up by her parents. “I hope Omar understands that he left them as orphans,” says Rahma.

Sources: HLN 1, 2, 3, 4 (Dutch)